My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
