It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize