I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
