The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
nutella sex= disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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