is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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