I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
