I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Randomize
