Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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