piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize