how can u be prego again
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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