Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize