i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
my sisters under your porch take her home
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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