this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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