I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
YAS. BRING CRAB.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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