hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
