These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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