I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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