Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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