Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize
