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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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