I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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