my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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