is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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