all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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