god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize