508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
