hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
