How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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