if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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