so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
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I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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