i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
