I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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