Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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