Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
