Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
