Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
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