she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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