glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
