isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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