He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Houston, we have a squirter
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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