Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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