I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Come see our sink grown plant.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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