You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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