i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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