I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Quick, to the slutcave!
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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