you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
