I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
It was confusing and full of hummus
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
