I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize