I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
