It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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