there were more penises there than on chat roulette
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
