She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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