Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
