Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
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If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
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I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
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