thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
