you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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