I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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